Thursday, April 15, 2010

My Day

Wow. it's been today.

I awoke to an email from a well meaning friend saying how sorry she was about what she had heard on the news about Russia and adoptions to the US. Wha?!

I thought I was gonna faint when I only was able to get a tidbit of info from the media at that time, which did say indeed Russia suspended things. I thought my heart was going to break into millions of pieces.

Then I decided I needed to distract myself and was not going to think about it (ha!) until I had heard from our agency. We did and there were no confirmed reports saying there was a suspension, but obviously things are still a little shaky.

Basically we are still in limbo. Not so fun.

I decided I would head out and go to the fabric store to find a specific fabric I was looking for to make a dress. For me. I cannot remember the last time I actually made me something. Hmmm.

So to Starbucks I went and then the fabric store. Priorities ya know. Can't think right without a little caffeine!

So, I found what I was looking for. Two things actually.

Aaaand I had forgotten my coupon!!! Ugh.

So I chose one and decided to go back for the other one later... WITH my coupon.

Then I decided to browse about at some patterns, minding NOT to happen upon cute little girl clothes lest I burst into tears...

SO, the lady next to me starts up a conversation about how her daughter is having a baby and is looking at lots of little bitty things and telling me all about her plans.

Now, I am usually quite a pleasant and nice person and am happy for others and their happy news. But today? Today I just wanted to NOT think about itty bitty cute things. I just wanted to be and look at patterns and get my fabric and not talk about cute little itty bitty things.

Then, the other two ladies on the other side of me were talking and chatting about what? Cute little girl things and looking at cute little girl

Again, I am all for it, but really?! Seriously?! I had to get outta there...I was surrounded and trying to not burst into an emotional mess of tears.

So, off I went to pay for things and get to the car, so I could make it home in time to meet the bus for my little monkey boy.

And what happens when I leave? It starts pouring rain on me as I started walking to my car.....poured. I got wet.

But ya know what? Starbucks got my coffee right. Yay! I found the fabric I was looking for. Double Yay! Then, I got to come home and get a hug from my boy as he came off the bus. And that is wonderfulness.

So, my world is a little emotional right now and it kinda really sucks. A lot. But, the sky is not falling and there is still hope that the US and Russia will work things out to where we, and many others, can go and meet and bring home our children.

I miss our daughter. I hate the thought of her being left in an orphanage to grow up. It's unbearable to think of what might happen if she is. I already love this little girl so, so much. I don't know what will happen, but I know I will not stop praying.

Blessings and I hope I have better news in the adoption world next week! Meanwhile, I will try to get some fun crafty posts ready to post next week. It's a good distraction for me....



  1. i'll pray.

    i have nothing else useful to offer.

  2. I was having a pretty bad "why can't our social worker get on the ball" day and even cried in Walmart today. You just humbled my heart and gave me perspective. Thank you. And prayers are being said.