The other day I was meandering around a fabric store. I had been feeling a little sad...no, a lot sad. I wasn't sure why I was feeling so blue and then it hit me...
It had been seven months. Seven months since the very day my precious Gramms had passed away. Oh...seven months how could it possibly be?!
I miss her so, so, so much. I was in the middle of the store. A store we'd been in together countless times. I was looking at a book I thought she would have liked. I wanted to turn to her and show it to her, but she wasn't there. It was in that instant I snapped out of it and was almost a mess of tears.
I felt sad, mournful and a bit silly. Like I had almost forgotten she was gone. That she was not standing there with me.
So very sad. I quickly had to flee the store the tears were coming so fast.
I was a mess of tears. Tears flowing down that I could not stop. Oh how I miss her.
I talked to my sister the next day to find out she had been feeling the same way and didn't realize it either. Funny how that is, isn't it? Those moments of sadness well up inside us, but we don't always know why. Until we are reminded of that sadness....that day it happened. The day my precious Gramms went to heaven.
I want to think this sadness will one day fade away, but I don't think it ever will. I will never stop missing her.
It's hard to believe life keeps going on as it does and I do not get to share it with her. But, I know she is happy and free where she is....blissfully happy and with Jesus. And that? That gives me peace.
I love you Gramms...your generous heart and happy, sunshine filled smile will forever be with me.