TWELVE

Over the weekend....

I got married! Well, twelve years ago I did! :) {And yes, I married an Aggie. It's true. These are his buddies and freshman from the Aggie Band}



This is us now....TWELVE years later. Still the love of my life.

Cannot believe it's been twelve years. We've been best friends even longer. We were actually best friends for almost a year before we even started dating....18 whole years ago!

{gravy I feel old}

We met at age 15. Started dating at 16 and have been together ever since!

Ironically, the last TWO years of our anniversary were spent all wrapped up in the adoption. For our 10 year anniversary, we got THE call that we were traveling. Then for our 11th, we were literally in Russia, spending time with Sunshine {and our boy who was with us too!} and then got to go eat at a little cafe. I had crepes, he had pelmeni.

So, this year? We kept it super simple. We spent the actual day with our kiddos {honestly, the best thing ever!} and then at some friends for a bbq to remember the holiday weekend. Then, my love took me to my absolute favorite restaurant in Austin. Chez Zee. My husband claims if my personality were a restaurant, that this place would be it. I agree. Twinkle lights, vintage and eclectic mix of decor and colors....it's all very me! :)

Unfortunately, I do not have a pic of it. So sad. But if you're ever in the area, GO! It's awesome.

One Year Later...

One year ago, I was here:

One year later...

{I posted over HERE today}

Things That Inspire

I've been working with a new craft medium of late. I've wanted to work with it some time, but was too chicken...which is odd for me since I'm mostly fearless with new methods and ways to sew and make things.

However, this latest was something a long time in the making. Growing up, my Gramms was a huge and constant woman of inspiration to me. She was the one that took me to church with her and showed me what a godly walk really looked like. I don't know if she ever knew the impact she had on my life, but it continues to this day.

This necklace? Very much inspired by my Gramms and  some good life lessons I've learned along the way in this roller coaster called life.

During our time spent together, she would always, always read her Bible. I remember one particular passage in the book of Matthew. In chapter 17, more specifically. It talked about faith of a mustard seed. I remember asking her a bazillion questions about it and being amazed at the tiny mustard seed. So tiny. And with faith even that small, such big things are so possible.

It still amazes me.


So, in honor of my Gramms, I introduce you to the Mustard Seed Pendant. They can be found HERE.

Happy Friday!

Sunshine Turns 5!

It's happening. She's turning 5. Today. 

This little girl that a year ago I didn't even know about. A little girl more than half a world away. 

I've been trying to find the words to express some of the mixed emotions of this day, but I've had a difficult time formulating them. Almost as though I don't want to think about the loss part, and try to simply focus on the joy part. 

I wish it was that easy. 

She has never really celebrated her very own birthday. She looks at me quizzically when I mention it {and my feeble  attempts to prepare her for it} and then I mention cupcakes and balloons and her face lights up!

And, it's no secret, that when she smiles and flashes those dimples...well...yes, there is much happiness and sunshine! 

I'm pretty much in love with this shot. The bright {and painted the night before by yours truly}5, the fun balloons, her Hello Kitty shirt and the best thrifting find ever...her fluffy turquoise pettyskirt. It just captures her. Right now. And that makes me happy. 

I pretty much adore this one too. The table and chairs {repainted cherry red chairs from my childhood, now hers}, her special dollies {or 'kukla' in Russian}, one mama made and the other from her Nana and her simply playing. Love. 

My dearest little Sunshine I adore you. You are cherished and loved. 

С Днем Рождения!

{Happy Birthday!}

And to many more celebrating together. 

Moments {adoption}

I posted over here today a little of my heart. Hope you'll check it out.

Here To There {an adoption journey}

Next week is Sunshine's birthday. Whew! Such mixed emotions...once I am able to get them organized, I'll post about it all. :)

Book Bag Awesomeness! {a tutorial}

Last week was Spring Break here in our part of the world. Which meant lots of bike riding, trampoline jumping and, of course, a trip or two to the library.

I happen to have a big kid who LOVES to read. Devours books. And? He needed a new book bag to transport all the book awesomeness to and from the library.

SO, off we went to the craft store {JoAnns this round} and picked up a messenger style bag in black. I thought about going the Bleachy Tee route, but the boy decided he wanted it in color, so we went more the craft paint route {more on that below}.

Then my boy drew a design he wanted on the bag. A robot. Or monster robot, as he called it.
{I love my 8 year old boy}

Then, we took the bag and I handed him my chalk pencil and let him just go with his design how he wanted it on the bag
{PS this is a GREAT big kid craft project, but for smaller littles, mama could transfer the design to the bag }

Then he chose the paint color(s) he wanted to use. He decided to let me to the painting part of things. I simply took some craft paint and textile medium {both bought at Hobby Lobby a while back} and mixed them together on a paper plate. Much like I do for Freezer Paper Stenciling.

Then, just a small paint brush {had it on hand, but got it at Hobby Lobby in a value pack of craft paint brushes} and painted away, going directly over the chalk. It took a couple coats since it was on black, but after about three it was the color he wanted, so we left it at that and let it dry.

A couple hours later, I went ahead and heat set it with the iron and pressing cloth {or scrap fabric piece is what I usually use } and VOILA!

Rockin' new book bag for my boy. :)

Just Like This

Do you ever just look around your house and see it? I mean, really see it for the season and moment it's in?

Those moments where you're family is running about here and there and life is crazy and you're just trying to get through the day....and then suddenly you have a quiet moment and you just look around. And it hits you...

This won't be this way forever.

I had one of these moments the other day. I picked up my camera and just wondered throughout the house capturing little glimpses of things that I want to remember. Remembering my house, my children...this season...just like this.

With LEGOs lined up along the window sill...

And this happy little Sunshine running about.

That our game cabinet holds more children's games than not. Including our vintage Battle Ship my son cherishes because he played it with my Gramms all the time.

And Perry The Platypus earbuds my son got from his grandparents for Christmas

The random items my children leave on the sofa.

Those rare {and very brief} still moments with Sunshine just playing. Doing puzzles together and it just being us before we go get big brother.

I know it will all go too fast. I want to remember things....just like this.

Sunny Days and Sometimes Partly Cloudy....

{Being real is sometimes difficult...pushing publish on this made me want to grab a blanket and pull it over my head...}

I typically write and post things adoption related over on our adoption blog, but sometimes trying to post there and here is just too complicated....aaannd, often leaves one blog or the other neglected. Aaaannd...sometimes I just get stunned on WHAT to write about where and just not post on either. 

And then there are days like today....and weeks like this week. 

It was a several cups of coffee day today. An "oh my gosh my daughter did what?!" kinda of day when I picked her up from school. And a "seriously that kid just came up and smacked my daughter for no apparent reason?!" kind of day. {seriously, she didn't provoke it...I saw the kid walk onto the playground and just smack her. I've never seen him, she does not go to school with him. He just didn't like her I suppose. I kinda don't like him.} And then the "oh crap, I forgot my husband is working late, so we're gonna have hot dogs, canned green beans and blueberries for dinner {really, I was trying to use up what we had without going to the drive-thru or the store}" kinda day. 

And this is just a little snippet. I'd really rather not bore you with more details....or scare you. 

It was the little sleep, still getting over illness and Sunshine sometimes being a little more clingy than not {and sometimes button pushing more than not} kinda weeks. 

So far, she has been adjusting well and is sleeping well. I, however, am not sleeping so well. 

{Read: drinking large amounts of coffee}

There are the moments this week that I have felt inadequate as an adoptive mom and moments where I really wish there was a homeschooling co-op of only mother's and kids adopted from Russia (or any country, really), so that when my daughter acts out, or doesn't understand "taking turns"  or kids look at her like she has two heads because she didn't understand what they were saying to her at the playground...well, they would understand. They would understand the underlying issues and reasons for some of her behavior or outbursts and "freak out" looks and actions. Yes, she is TERRIFIED of public bathrooms and the dark. Not the dark like "I need a night light" kinda dark. Outside dark. Like, we can go into a store at sunset and come back out once the sun sets and she has a little freak out moment and tries to climb me like a tree because she is VERY leery of that "dark stuff" out there. 

People stare and I keep on walking, speaking to her in Russian, letting her know "it's okay. mama's here".

Let's not even talk about bumpy roads, rain on the car or dinner not getting on the table or in her mouth fast enough. 

I understand not all of this only applies to adopted kids. But a lot of this applies to Sunshine and her being in an orphanage setting for her whole little life. 

And then, there are the moments she just wants to be held. And I look at her and get a glimpse of what she might have been like as an infant. 

Sometimes it breaks my heart to pieces knowing she didn't get this time with a mother. Simply being held. And I sit and hold her....for long periods of time.

Yes, there has been a lot of holding this week. A lot of "mama...mama...MOM!" Sunshine calling me, begging for my attention at every waking moment. So, blog posts don't always get finished or posted (seriously folks, there are several just sitting in que...), new items for Little Bird stay in the ideas bin in my brain, just waiting to be let out onto paper and fabric ( they can wait a little longer...) and dinner doesn't always get done in time (thankful for crockpots!). 

I often wonder how other mamas and small biz owners and bloggers do it. Because, lately? I cannot. I cannot and I think it's OK. For now. 

This is a season and I am assuming one day sleep will come back to me restfully and I will have too much time in the studio and be longing for these moments that my kids were 8 and 4.   

Yes. This week. It's been Sunny and sometimes partly cloudy. 

Sunshine

I normally post adoption/Sunshine updates to our adoption blog over here, but I decided to post some pics taken today (3 months as a forever family!!!) on here!

So, without further delay, here is Sunshine month 3 of being with us:

Happy Friday!!!

Is It Dusty Around Here?!?

Wow...poor little blog of mine. It's been terribly neglected.

But! It's because I've been blogging a bit more over HERE on our adoption blog!

And guess what else?! This little blog will be hosting a giveaway/fundraiser fairly soon. Just getting some kinks worked out. However, I'm excited to get it going and introduce you to an amazing new non-profit I've recently learned about. Half of the fundraiser will be going to this organization that loves on orphans. I hope you will join me next week in raising funds to help complete our adoption, as well as support orphan care!

Until then, hope you've all been having a lovely November!

Blessings!
-Jaime

Business of Oreos

We like Oreos in my family. No. We LOVE them.

However, we don't often buy them. They are a super special treat. Perhaps twice a year at most do they show up in our pantry.

But, the one time for sure they will be there? In the Fall when the typically white cream center turns to orange. Oh yes, the halloween Oreos. Mmm.

Now, I don't much care for (gasp) halloween itself. Always loved the dress up part, but never the scary part. I was the kiddo that would rather stay home and snuggle up and watch "It's The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown". But, I can guarantee you I will eat some halloween Oreos!

We were enjoying some the other evening for dessert (I know, it's only September) and the question arose as to what kind of Oreo eater each one of us is.

These are the catagories we discovered:

The dipper : just lets a little of the cookie be dipped in the milk

The dunker: just dunks it and eats it (my son)

The drowner: dunks it in and lets it get all soaked up. Then eats it.

The 'no way I'm putting my cookie near milk': just likes to eat the cookie and chase it down with some milk. (my husband)

I am sure there are other types of ways to Oreos, but I have discovered I am a drowner. Doesn't that sound horrible?! Yeah, I think so too. But, it's true (gasp!) I let my cookie just drown in the milk. Yuppers.

Funny story, growing up if my aunt caught me doing that she'd scold me. I thought it was totally normal. She thought it was terrible to let your fingers get near the milk. Whatevs...I was a kid and didn't much care. She told me my grandfather (otherwise known as Papa) taught her how to eat them that way. Try as I might to please, I just couldn't do it. I'm a cookie drowner.

Yup.

So, what kinda cookie eater are you? Do you even like Oreos?!

Seven

The other day I was meandering around a fabric store. I had been feeling a little sad...no, a lot sad. I wasn't sure why I was feeling so blue and then it hit me...

It had been seven months. Seven months since the very day my precious Gramms had passed away. Oh...seven months how could it possibly be?!

I miss her so, so, so much. I was in the middle of the store. A store we'd been in together countless times. I was looking at a book I thought she would have liked. I wanted to turn to her and show it to her, but she wasn't there. It was in that instant I snapped out of it and was almost a mess of tears.

I felt sad, mournful and a bit silly. Like I had almost forgotten she was gone. That she was not standing there with me.

So very sad. I quickly had to flee the store the tears were coming so fast.

I was a mess of tears. Tears flowing down that I could not stop. Oh how I miss her.

I talked to my sister the next day to find out she had been feeling the same way and didn't realize it either. Funny how that is, isn't it? Those moments of sadness well up inside us, but we don't always know why. Until we are reminded of that sadness....that day it happened. The day my precious Gramms went to heaven.

I want to think this sadness will one day fade away, but I don't think it ever will. I will never stop missing her.

It's hard to believe life keeps going on as it does and I do not get to share it with her. But, I know she is happy and free where she is....blissfully happy and with Jesus. And that? That gives me peace.

I love you Gramms...your generous heart and happy, sunshine filled smile will forever be with me.

Memories and Wishes

Scenes in the house I have missed. Scenes that have been missing for a while...

My boy. I used to be held captive at the playdoh playing time for what seemed hours. Thinking, honestly, that it would be something that lasted for much longer than it did in reality.

How time passes so quickly and that 2..then 3...then 4....now 8(eight!) year old has grown so, so fast!

He took out a little tiny package of play-doh he received as a birthday party favor. Before I knew it, the table was covered in little shapes cut out of play-doh. Just like old times, but with a little more big kid vibe to it.

My big kid.

Sigh. Scenes I know will be missed once again...

On Horsemen and Legos

The other day my son hollers from the other room (he'd been playing with legos most of the morning) "Mom! I can't find my headless horseman! Have you seen it?"

Me: "no honey, I haven't seen any headless horsemen today"


The things I never thought I would say when I became a mother....

Eight

Over the weekend my son turned eight.

Someone hold me.

Eight. How can this be?!

I probably say it every year, but I cannot believe it has been this long. Eight years.

My boy. He loves math, reading, TaeKwonDo,  Music. Oh yes, music....a beat he hears and his feet he can't keep still. (He gets it from me). Even more so, he loves God. His current 'I want to be' when he grows up is a fire fighter and a race car driver. He's also already started saving for his first bike....

The motorcycle kind.

Help me now.

This boy. Eight short years ago fit so easily into a cuddle and now? Now barely can fit on my lap when he does want a snuggle moment with his mama.

Nerf gun waring, trampoline jumping, popsicle eating, donut loving, beat the pants off me Wii playing, fun loving, contagious giggle producing, beach loving....and much more...boy of mine.

Happy Birthday my son. You are incredible. You are smart. You are loved.

Shop NEWS!!!

Some of you that follow me on twitter or facebook have already heard the good news....but, we finally got our court date to travel to Russia to see Songbird and (hopefully all goes well) bring her home!!!

SO, that being said, Little Bird will be going into vacation mode starting May 12. Custom (*design your own*) will only be excepted through May 6. If there is something you've been eyeing, go take a peek and snatch it up! I will not be reopening until July to allow time to spend with our new family of four!

AND...to add a little goody for you, use coupon code LBC15 to receive 15% off your purchase at Little Bird!

Thank you and have a lovely weekend!

A Glimpse of Her

A couple weeks ago I was going through some boxes my dad had given me that once belonged to his mother. My grandmother.

A grandmother whom I never really knew. She is his mother...his adoptive mom.
(over HERE is a little more about this story...about the distance that once was)

I think I truly would have loved her. I feel we had a lot in common, blood related or not.

With all the sewing things was this box.

I opened the box to find an array of different items like buttons, some dice (not sure what for?!), sewing needles, knitting and crochet needles and hooks and an old wool felt pin cushion.

I stared at these items, getting just a glimpse of this woman who raised my father. A woman I so, so very much wanted to know and know more about.

I know she was from Spain and her name was Zulia. I know she loved sewing and knitting and crotchet work.

I know we would have gotten along well and I would have loved to learn just some of the things she knew about sewing.

I know that, even though we were not related by blood, that we would have had plenty in common to talk about while we sewed.

I also know that, even though she is no longer with us, I have a glimpse of who she was within these items....I know I would have loved her.

We would have gotten along splendidly.

Silly Emotional Gift Wrap

I just got silly emotional over wrapping a gift for my son.

It's not the gift (although I think it's awesome he wants one of those wooden drawing manikins...and it came WITH a beginners drawing kit...) I got emotional over, but the actual wrapping of it.

I know. It's sounds so odd, but the reason goes back to memories of my Gramma. Thankfully she is still with us, but she is not the younger Gramma I once knew.

It's hard. She taught me how to sew buttons, how to use a sewing machine and read a pattern. She taught me how to cook the most wonderful family recipes that I so cherish along with so, so many other wonderful things. Too many to list in one blog post. She is the woman who practically raised me.

And.....

She taught me how to wrap gifts. She was so perfect at it! I begged her to teach me, and with much love and affection...as with everything she has ever done...she taught me.

I remember....I must have been around my son's age now....I asked her HOW she was able to wrap so darn good! And she told me, one year, she worked in gift wrap when she was a younger.

She explained how it wasn't just the wrapping job, but the wrapping paper one chooses. She also told me to take my time and not rush it....in time I would get the hang of it and would be able to do it as she did.

I eventually got the hang of it, but I don't think I will ever do it quite like she could.

So, why does this make me so emotional?! I can only attribute it to her not being able to do these things like she once could.

Her hands are more frail and she cannot sew with me as she once did, because she cannot see very well now. She cannot cook, walk, bake pies or cook a whole Christmas dinner like she used to any longer.

It almost completely breaks my heart.....I miss her. I miss the Gramma that could play soccer with my son and stand and bake pies with me all day in preparation for the holidays. I know it sounds so selfish, but it's true.

This past Thanksgiving? It was the first year we were not able to bake pies together....

I chose not to bake any pies. I also got sick, so I was not necessarily able to anyway. But....

But! This Christmas? My sister, niece and I are going to get together and bake. I know my Gramms won't be able to, but she will be here with us too. She is still pretty good at directing...

I pray we have many more years together....but...I will cherish the ones we have now.

And gift wrap? It may always make me cry and little.

Uniqueness Box

My son brought this home the other Sunday from church. It's called a uniqueness box. Or at least that is what it said on the paper. It's also like his own little prayer box...you'll see why...

He was so excited to show me all the different sides of it. Especially the one he drew of Songbird:

He even included one of our dog and one of himself.


Then I opened the box and my heart melted into a puddle:

There they were. Three simple prayers of a child. In case you need translating, they say:

-Please keep them safe while they are gone
-Please keep my mom and dad safe in Russia
-Please keep my sister safe

Yeah, I know we need to work a bit on the spelling, but for right now? I do not care. It's the thought and simple plea of a child in prayer.

I am not sure my heart will ever leave it's puddled state....

Sometimes Ya Gotta Just Let Go...

We went to the beach this past weekend for a little family getaway and to celebrate my son's birthday. He wanted more than anything (anything!) to go to the beach for his birthday. So, we did!

We found a place right on the beach that fit our adoption budget. No frills or fancy, but we just wanted to hang on the beach, so we took the no frills.

It was kinda nice not having to plan, send invites and all that jazz this year. Not that I mind doing that, but having a low-key, stress free planning of a simple birthday party just can't be beat. At least this year for our family....we've had enough stress and crazy to last a while!

So, we headed to the beach. I do not have many pictures of our beach vacation. One, our goal was to spend time together and just chill.

We did.

Another goal? To boogie board with my son and build a sand castle.

We did.

These things take time and as much as I wanted to just grab the camera at so many different moments, I didn't. It was hard, but I knew that in all the running and grabbing the camera and snapping would mean losing out on the memories being made in those precious moments.
(this pic taken by my boy)

Maybe I don't have a gazillion photos to show for it, but the snapsots in my memory.....in my son's memory, are priceless.

I want him to remember this beach vacation/birthday celebration, not with his mama constantly with a camera stuck on her face attempting to capture the moments, but actually making memories by being together.....and boogie boarding.

Oh, and also? My camera battery died and we forgot more batteries to switch out with. We got some more the next day, but ya know what?! It forced me to put the camera down, relax and just let go....

It was fabulous.